Please join us in prayer

Sherman's words brought me to tears. Such a powerful message and really ananswer to my struggle with praying for Sara and for Kate. The news thattheir families have received are messages of doom, essentially. I foundmyself halted in my tracks. Obviously God is going to take them long beforetheir natural lives should be. Obviously that is His Will. Whypray....what do I pray...how do I pray. This has been a huge struggle forme over the past few weeks.Before the most recent diagnoses, it was easy to pray for healing. It waseasy to ask God for strength for them and their families. But it is all tooreal that Sara, at the very least, is going to not be a survivor. I feltlike the Coyote in the Roadrunner cartoons. I was climbing down the ropeand find myself suddenly out of rope.I agree that we should pray for Kate and for Sara. It is right that we prayfor Sam also. Thank you, Sherman.-----Original Message-----FSubject: RE: Kate McRaeHi Ruth..,I know you hurt for Kate and her family as if she and they wereyour own. Moments like this try to make us doubt God more and trust Himless...For Kate, her Mom and Dad, the whole family in a moment like this thereare no words to comfort... only prayers filled Tears and lament to God..Kate's circumstances makes me think of the only time in Sam'slife when she asked me "why can't I walk?" I had always feared thatmoment, and when it came, it broke me. It crushed me. It forced me tosee how weak and powerless I am to do anything for her. My strength, myintellect, my sheer will is nothing. They are beyond futile...Since I've come to know Christ, the more I experience Him, theless there is for me to fear..., except (I discovered) when it came toSam. The older she gets, the more my fears and concerns seem to grow.Once Sam's question was out in the open, I discovered that it wasn't theonly fear that wants to do battle with me. I discovered there is ahallway of fears regarding Sam. The hallway begins with Sam's question.At the other end of that hallway is the fear of the answer that God willnot heal her in my or her lifetime. Throughout the hallway there aredoors that lead to my fear of all the things and people that being inher wheelchair vulnerable to that I can't protect her from or guardagainst. I've discovered that my fears usually speak to me in whispers,softly, persistently. They are stirred and awakened by circumstancesand only when I try to ignore them or fight them do they seem to screamto get my attention. They seek my attention with the expectation that Iwill align my heart and mind with them. They want me to surrender butthey're willing to reach a compromise if I stop resisting. It's easy tohear them when I can't hear God. I wish God would shout sometimes; itwould be easier to hear Him over their whispers. But God has nevershouted at me, even when I wished He had. Perhaps it's because I'm notable to withstand his shout or even His talking more loudly...Someone said that God is always talking to us, just that He usuallyspeaks to us through our circumstances more than anything else... I'mnot sure I like that (even though I think there's more truth to it thanI'm ready to admit). Still, I've also noticed that when I'mintentionally trying to listen for one thing, somehow my ears seem tobegin tuning everything else out except the thing I'm listening for orto, maybe that's why God whispers.I had been hoping that God would heal Sam before she could everask the question..., He didn't..., He hasn't. I have hoped that somehowin her asking through tears that broke my heart, that it would have thesame affect on God's heart and provoke God to answer her and grant herrequest, our request..., my request. My response to Sam was the same asKate's father. I can't recall ever getting mad at God (honestly), but Ifelt it in that moment. From a hindsight, I'm glad God isn't provokedout of broken heart...Still, Kate's circumstances opens the flood gates for me. Thefears and hurts all flow down to one question about why does God choosenot to do something(a good thing), when He is perfectly able to? Whydoesn't God do this one thing when He's done other things that seem sotrivial by comparison? Please, why won't He heal Sam, heal Kate, andbring peace, comfort and joy to Kate's mom? Why make us bear it? Why?I'm thankful that He carries us through our difficulties and hurts, butdeliverance from them would seem a lot better. If the answer doesn'tbring about what I want does the answer matter?...Despite the reality,I don't believe that God purposes us for such hurt even though it seemsto find us. I "feel" Sam and Kate have been singled out.. Of course I knowit's not true, yet sometimes I feel that way. I know Jesus can heal Samand heal Kate, despite my doubt that he would do it for me. Despite mydoubting, He's answered me so many times for so many things. Right upuntil this moment I was willing to trade all of those answered prayers,if he would enable Sam to walk. But at this very moment, I realize oneof the prayers He answered was giving me Sam with the Spirit and heartthat is in her. I prayed for Sam before she was ever born, before Iever got my driver's license. I prayed that God would give me such adaughter..., and answered me with one.., and then two! Neither came inthe time or way I anticipated, expected or imagined.In Sunday school we read the passage where Hezekiah has beentold to get his house in order because he was going to die. Hezekiahwept, and asked God to give him more time and God did. There's more tothat story. It goes way beyond Hezekiah and the more I dwell upon whatwe talked about, I find myself in deep waters, especially when it comesto Sam and Kate's life. God hasn't granted my request, Still since Sam is still here, for somereason I feel He expects me to be persistent in asking, if for no otherreason than the fact that I haven't heard Him say He wouldn't. So I do.It's been twenty years, and I'm still praying. Through the course oftime He has taken me from fearing what His answer is going to be topursuing hearing what His Will is. I'm not sure but I think I'mbeginning to learn that the answer from God is only a part of what Hiswill is, not the conclusion.No matter what the answer, I trust God. I trust God with Sam. I trustGod's Will for Sam. At that moment I had no other choices (that weregoing to change her circumstances). I can choose to trust my will forSam instead. I can chose my strength, my might, my power, my wisdom...If it wasn't for her circumstances rendering me completely indefensible,helpless, weak and powerless..., I probably would have. I K-N-O-W that God can and will do for Sam, what working legs cannot,what my strength and might cannot. I "KNOW" this now and I knew thisthen. The truth is, I don't know that in that moment I would have beenable or strong enough to choose God's Will, without His help.., the helpof my Pastor, your help and the help of the rest of my brothers andsisters. God has helped me and you've helped me every day for the pasttwenty years.Perhaps we (the whole church on Sunday or tonight at the pastor's house,or at the church if the house becomes too crowded) to come together asone with this specific purpose in mind: to pray, fast and lament to Godon Kate's behalf and her family. To cry out to God as one, with oneheart, of one mind.To everyone, whether you are present with one another or not we togetherand present in Spirit; in your reading and hearing of Kate's news withand by the Spirit that God has given us through Christ may we lift upour voices as one.Subject: Kate McRaeThis is the latest from Kate's mother:Never have words been more difficult to pen. Never have our hearts feltthe angst of pain quite like today. I hoped to never write these words.I prayed that our hearts would never feel this torment. However, today,we received devastating news. There are new spots on the MRI, at leastone on the other side of our daughter's brain. The all too familiar feeling of nausea followed by haziness settled overour bodies. We vasalated between bouts of sobbing and looks ofdisbelief. We felt trapped in a horrific nightmare until the sound ofsmall sobs shook us loose. Our sweet Kate was huddled up on the tablesobbing into her arm. Her little body shook for about half an hour.Tears of pain, and fear letting loose. She was scared. Our baby wasscared and all we could do was hold her. Through the tears Kate slowly got out the words, "why". "Why daddy, why?Why hasn't Jesus healed me?" The sound of heartbroken sobs all thatcould escape from her daddy's lips. Crys of pain.I have rarely felt angry this past year and a half. About every otheremotion under the sun, but not very often anger. Today I was angry. Ihad promised Kate we would swim with dolphins together. We had dreamedof Hawaii together. We have so many plans. And yet now this. Words couldnever detail the hurt. So tonight we sit in disbelief, or horror may be more accurate. We hadgone into the MRI very hopeful. She was making gains on all ends. Shehad no obvious symptoms. We had one of our favorite anesthesiologistsfor the scan. She held Kate in her arms and sang to her as she held themask over her face and put her to sleep. I was so grateful she cared formy baby. After the MRI we saw her again. I struggle not to try andinterpret everyones body language after a scan. However, her eyes werewatering. She said it must be allergies. My heart suddenly felt the icygrip of fear, what if something was seen. I tried to dissuade thefeeling, the panic, for the next few hours. Our meeting with the neurosurgeon relayed the devastating news. We crieduntil the meeting with Kate's oncologist.Tomorrow the tumor board will discuss her scan and the best way todetermine wether or not it is definitely cancer. Most likely Kate willbe undergoing a PET scan as soon as possible. They will also bediscussing the best possible route for us to take if it is tumor. Theywill be contacting institutions around the country for open studies, andanything that could possibly hold some hope for treating a recurrance. We are crushed. Kate is heartbroken. And we need God's miraculousintervention. Please pray. Please ask others to pray for our sweet baby.I know she is one child among many battling. But she is our daughter,and she is a sister, and a niece, and a granddaugther. Please pray thatGod would spare her from this disease. Please. Please pray that after further investigation they would determine it notto be tumor. We understand the likelyhood of that is slim. But pleasepray. Please intercede on our behalf.Things will be moving quite quickly, we hope, as if this would be tumor,time is not in our favor.